Here are just a few of my favorite sayings from working with people in Recovery:
"If you have one foot in the past, one foot in the future, you end up peeing in today."
"Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies."
"Once a cucumber is a pickle, it can't go back to being a cucumber again."
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Living Amends
I’ve been working with people in recovery since 2003. Specifically, the last few years I’ve had the privilege of treating individuals with Substance Abuse related issues. Before I knew much about the 12-step Recovery Programs (i.e. AA & NA) I had many mis-perceptions which largely stemmed from my own ignorance. Today I feel blessed to have seen first hand these programs changing the lives of recovering persons every day.
One aspect of the 12 step model focuses on making amends to those we’ve wronged. This starts first with taking a moral inventory of one’s self, making a list of personal defects and wrongs committed against others and working towards making amends to those individuals.
That kind of character analysis is courageous if you ask me. And countless recovering addicts attempt this sort of challenge in their sobriety. How many non-addicted persons dare to take such a microscope to their character?
People in recovery talk a lot about learning to make amends for their past wrongs. They often admit that making amends has to be more than just a promise to change or an apology. They say “You have to make a Living Amends. I can say to the people I love that I’m going to change but I’ve said that before so why should they believe me? I have to live the amends.”
When we want so badly for others to show us the change we want them to make, let’s ask ourselves “How am I living the change in my life?” We can’t keep promising change and then waiting for our action to catch up to our intentions.
One aspect of the 12 step model focuses on making amends to those we’ve wronged. This starts first with taking a moral inventory of one’s self, making a list of personal defects and wrongs committed against others and working towards making amends to those individuals.
That kind of character analysis is courageous if you ask me. And countless recovering addicts attempt this sort of challenge in their sobriety. How many non-addicted persons dare to take such a microscope to their character?
People in recovery talk a lot about learning to make amends for their past wrongs. They often admit that making amends has to be more than just a promise to change or an apology. They say “You have to make a Living Amends. I can say to the people I love that I’m going to change but I’ve said that before so why should they believe me? I have to live the amends.”
When we want so badly for others to show us the change we want them to make, let’s ask ourselves “How am I living the change in my life?” We can’t keep promising change and then waiting for our action to catch up to our intentions.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Roman Brain Power
Recently while flying back from Rome I was trying to beat jet lag by keeping myself awake. I came to realize after watching episodes of 30 Rock and The Office that there was an option to listen to Audio Books. I can't tell you what a relief this was to stumble upon given my displeasure for television shows.
Luckily, I was able to jump into Chapter 2 of Getting Organized in the Google Era which was remarkably intriguing. The premise involves using our brains effectively and utilizing the internet & other tools to essentially organize what doesn't stick in our long term memory (i.e. reason #176 why you need an iphone).
As a side note, I appreciate how he uses musical lyrics throughout the book as a way to connect his thoughts and keep our interest. That was clever Douglas.
So the part that I keep coming back to is this notion of our Constraints. The emotional, psychological, physical kinds of obstacles that impact our reactions to life. He talks about Assumed versus Actual constraints. And it made me think of working with people, how so often I feel that my work is helping people make sense of this: is what I am facing an Actual obstacle to my life, or a road block I am Assuming to be an obstacle?
I don't always have the answer to that question. In fact, who can really judge that for certain but the person experiencing this? But given how easy it is to lie to ourselves and potentially underestimate our own capacity to take risks, it makes me wonder again about the importance of feedback and honest observation from those we trust so that we can decipher a little more clearly this difference of assumed vs. actual constraints.
What am I assuming to be an obstacle in my life that may actually just be fear?
Luckily, I was able to jump into Chapter 2 of Getting Organized in the Google Era which was remarkably intriguing. The premise involves using our brains effectively and utilizing the internet & other tools to essentially organize what doesn't stick in our long term memory (i.e. reason #176 why you need an iphone).
As a side note, I appreciate how he uses musical lyrics throughout the book as a way to connect his thoughts and keep our interest. That was clever Douglas.
So the part that I keep coming back to is this notion of our Constraints. The emotional, psychological, physical kinds of obstacles that impact our reactions to life. He talks about Assumed versus Actual constraints. And it made me think of working with people, how so often I feel that my work is helping people make sense of this: is what I am facing an Actual obstacle to my life, or a road block I am Assuming to be an obstacle?
I don't always have the answer to that question. In fact, who can really judge that for certain but the person experiencing this? But given how easy it is to lie to ourselves and potentially underestimate our own capacity to take risks, it makes me wonder again about the importance of feedback and honest observation from those we trust so that we can decipher a little more clearly this difference of assumed vs. actual constraints.
What am I assuming to be an obstacle in my life that may actually just be fear?
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